Groom Tip: guide to proposing
No matter how you decide to pop the question there are a few VERY important rules to follow—I promise you’ll make her heart melt if you remember these tips!
NUMBER ONE RULE
If you stop reading after this rule—you’ll honestly be in pretty good shape because I’m not saving the best for last. I’m keeping priorities straight in this post—
The VERY MOST IMPORTANT PART OF ANY PROPOSAL….
…. is the pre-proposal speech; the words of love and affirmation you speak to her before/while you’re down on one knee are by far the most special and memorable. I know your nerves will probably be going wild, and you’ll have so much adrenaline it will feel like time is moving in slow motion— but don’t let this force you to miss your moment. Take a deep breath, look into her eyes and tell her all of the reasons you love her, tell her why you want to marry her, and tell her what she means to you, then you can ask *the* question. I can guarantee you that throughout the rest of your lives she will cherish those words and the way you made her feel— and how could she say “no” after a speech like that? Be sincere, be honest, take your time. There’s no reason to rush through it or skip over the important stuff.
THE OTHER (STILL IMPORTANT) STUFF TO REMEMBER
DISCLAIMER: These are all my tips, thoughts, suggestions, and personal opinions on proposals but, YOU are the one that knows your girl best, so after reading through this, if there’s something I advised against but you know she would love it—by all means, do what you want to do! It’s not my proposal or love story, it’s yours! This is meant as a helpful guide and to give you things to consider while planning your proposal that you might not have thought of on your own (since it’s probably your first time proposing;)) Good Luck, and just remember that the first section is what matters most!
tips for Photos
If photos are important to her and/or to you (which let’s face it, they probably are) The following pointers will help you have a “picture-perfect proposal”
First things first, if you want photos of your proposal you’ll want to arrange for someone to come capture photos and/or videos of your proposal. If you want the moment to be private, hire a professional, and set up in a location that allows for the photographer to remain hidden + discreet with a telephoto (super zoom) lens. So you can get beautiful photos without interrupting your special moment.
If you don’t want to hire a professional, consider getting a friend or family member to take on the task of capturing photo and/or video. (make sure if it’s not a professional content creator you give your friend or family member very specific instructions on what you want captured and how you want it to be captured.
if you don’t want to involve a family member you could hide your phone on a tripod and set it to record video or even a time laps—just be sure you practice before the actual proposal so you know exactly where to be standing to stay within the frame.
DO NOT PROPOSE IN THE DARK The twinkling lights and candles are fun but give the photographer some ambient light to work with!! If you do choose to propose in the dark just be aware that the photographer will have to use a flash which can still be pretty, but is much less discrete. The photographer will be forced to stand closer to you, and of course there will be flashes of light going on. If you want beautiful pictures choose a beautiful place at a time of day with beautiful light— your photographer can probably help you decide on the time and location that will make for some awesome photos.
If the night time + twinkling lights are really the direction you want to go GET A LOT OF LIGHTS!!! Bring in as much as you can, and then hopefully the photographer can crank her ISO (fake light for her sensor) to expose your photos without a flash. (if you don’t want flash) just note that shooting in the dark with “fake light” (ISO) will give you grainy photos— a fun photo fact in case you are wondering— ISO used to literally be the size of the silver halide crystals on film, the bigger the crystals the more sensitive they were to light (so higher iso meant you could expose your film in less light) But bigger silver crystals meant more visible grain in the photos (film is exposed by light breaking the crystals) Now, on digital cameras it’s the same concept! Ok…back to your regularly scheduled programming of How to Propose….
If you do go the direction of twinkling lights at night, consider proposing right at dusk so the lights can twinkle but theres a little bit of fading light left from the sun as well!
Looking for a photographer to shoot your proposal (or your wedding)? Lets get in touch!
Know if nails are important to her
— some girls don’t care, but a lot of girls DO. I know it sounds silly but if there’s a way for you to make sure she has her nails done before you propose you’ll get bonus points for sure! (a classic but effective way to do this is enlist the help of friends, sisters, or mom’s to take her on a girls date a few days prior to your proposal to get their nails done
CELEBRATE!
You can make the night really special by arranging a small (or big) gathering of her (and your) friends and family to be ready to celebrate with you after she says “yes”! Maybe you propose to her in a special location, then, after you make-out a little, and soak it all in with each other, and have your intimate time with just the two of you (and maybe a photographer) you can drive back to your house (or wherever works) where you can have arranged for a group of loved ones to be waiting to see the ring, hear the story, and shower you with happiness!
You can make it a party, maybe include a cute “she said yes” cake, or balloons, or her favorite treat! You could have a banner, or confetti poppers, or photos from your time dating— just make the whole night special and fun!
Not only will your new Fiancee’ love showing off her amazing ring and future husband to the important people in her life while she’s still glowing from excitement— they’ll love the chance to be involved and congratulate you in person instead of via text message reply or phone call!!
If you don’t want to put together a party, you could also just invite friends + family to meet you at a restaurant for dinner (or desert, or brunch… depending on the time of day you propose) and enjoy a meal together without much prep required!
If a group gathering isn’t your style, make some reservations at a special restaurant and/or plan a fun date for just the two of you to spend your first hours as an engaged couple together!
Some things You may want to avoid
Rigorous Hikes (even if you both love hiking)
Most people don’t wear their favorite outfit when they go hiking, and if you’re proposing at the beautiful lookout at the top—you’re probably both going to be a little sweaty and tired by the time you propose. If a hike theme is what you want to do, consider planning more of a nature walk, or a beautiful mountainous place you can get to by car!
Scavenger Hunts for two reasons:
1) they are done a lot, so there’s a good chance her friends have already been proposed to with a scavenger hunt
2) she knows exactly what’s coming the whole time…. so she won’t be surprised when you get down on one knee. Scavenger hunts generally involve her spending a whole lot of time doing stuff without you when she just wants to skip to the end and have you say all the cheesy stuff in person! (as a general rule of thumb—if you asked a girl to prom the same way you are planning on proposing… you may want to reconsider)
3)Putting the ring in food—choking hazard and the ring should be clean and sparkly when it goes on her finger IMO.
some ideas for the set-up
Special Date: Think of something you will both have fun doing, something that feels special, and something that will allow a good opportunity for a proposal. You can always do a nice dinner and go from there, but here are some other ideas of special dates that could be the perfect setup for your proposal:
Seasonal activities (Christmas tree farm visit, pumpkin patch visit, summer time firework show, flower field visit, nature walk, etc.) Have fun wandering around, doing the activities and map out the perfect spot to end your date with a proposal!
Out of the ordinary experiences (things you’ve probably never done together before that would be really exciting and special). Helicopter ride that ends with a proposal at the destination or the end of the ride, Hot air balloon ride, or attending a hot air balloon festival, butterfly exhibit, amusement park, lantern festival, etc).
Picnic-but make it fashion. Plan a special, romantic date just the two of you—pack a lunch and go out on the lake in a canoe or a row boat or settle into a cozy, quiet park or spot in the canyon. Enjoy each other’s company in the peaceful and picturesque outdoors, and sometime before desert-surprise her with that beautiful ring! Very Nicholas Sparks-y;)
show up un-announced…Somewhere she isn’t expecting you to be, like when she’s out of town with her family or girl-friends, coordinate to be there unexpectedly to give her the best souvenir she could ever dream of bringing home from a trip. (This was how my love proposed to me and it was very exciting and so unexpected!)
Movie Date The most classic date can also turn into the most classic proposal, You can go simple and sweet with a backyard movie set up like this one, or go big with a movie theater that you arrange with to play a “will you marry me” clip. (There’s the big Megaplex and Cinnemark theaters, but there are also cute smaller ones like Cinema 502 in Ogden or the Broadway Theater in Salt Lake, or Kaysville Theater in Kaysville or a drive in!) You could even see if coordinating a “will you mary me” message on the marquee is a possibility at these smaller theater options—-You could pretend to be going to a movie and pop the question outside before you even go in! (this could finish out with a theater full of your family and friends and a slideshow of photos from your relationship, or end at the marquee and continue at dinner, icecream, home, etc.)
Concert Date. Basically the same idea as the movie date— most likely a smaller venue with a cute marquee outside is your best bet—if you have serious hookups and/or luck you could coordinate with the artist youre seeing, but if that’s not an option the venue would probably be up for a marquee proposal.
The “happening upon it” Set Up A simple, classic way to propose is to have some sort of set up that you “happen upon” while on your way to….(a picnic, a family photo, a nature walk, a friends house, a KSL Classifieds deal…etc.) Find somewhere you can put your stuff and it can stay while you go pick up your date. Find some inspo for setting up here and here. You can do this anywhere, in your house, her house, your backyard, the park, your office—preferable somewhere with some pretty background and lighting but you-do-you!
The Photoshoot. This is one I’ve been involved with multiple times, essentially you plan a photoshoot (…as a gift for her, for family photos, for your anniversary, get a photographer to ask you to “model” for a styled shoot… whatever guise you want to set up). Then you coordinate with the photographer to give you a certain pose as a signal, and there you go— easiest way to get her all dressed up and leave with pretty, pro pics of your proposal!
The Jim and Pam, (any office fans out there?) Basically this is for you if you want to keep it simple. Do it at home, or on a more or less regular day, you could do a regular dinner date and propose there or on the walk home— nothing to set up except yourself and the ring, or maybe a box of donuts you bring her that spell out “marry me?”. Just remember rule number one and bring all the feels with your words as you propose.
Some finishing touches
Regardless of what you do, these are some special touches that you can add to make it extra sentimental
write her a love note to give her about all your thoughts and feelings leading up to the proposal
print off some photos from dating or make a little photo book of the two of you to give her in the car on the way home
have a bouquet of her favorite flowers waiting for her at home, or in your hand when you surprise her, or to give her on your way back from proposing
have the photographer and/or her assistant and/or your friend or family member shoot some polaroids so you have tangible memories right then and there.
